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Chemist’s last words …

Jokes - jokes4all.net! — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:13:29 +0000

Chemist's last words

1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...

Sarkozy Photobomb

gothlair.net — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:03:19 +0000

A mathematician organizes a raffle

admin — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:08:10 +0000

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the [...]

Post from: Lit Fun

You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no electricity or …

Jokes - jokes4all.net! — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:13:29 +0000

You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no electricity or computers, you are on the honor system. Please forward this message to everyone in your address book and then delete all files on your hard drive.

Thank you.

The taxi driver & S.T Peter

njm — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:03:19 +0000

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. “Come with me”, said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling [...]

Post from: Lit Fun

Yo momma is so dumb she threw a stone at the ground and missed.

Jokes - jokes4all.net! — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:13:29 +0000

Yo momma is so dumb she threw a stone at the ground and missed.

What an idea to suicide!

njm — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:44:32 +0000

Post from: Lit Fun

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her …

Jokes - jokes4all.net! — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:13:29 +0000

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. Their first night there she undresses, as he does. There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this ... a black condom?" He replies, "I want to offer my condolences."

I like your thinking

admin — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 05:14:17 +0000

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Mark. He replies, “None , they will all fly away with the first gunshot.” The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.” Then little Mark [...]

Post from: Lit Fun

What is a man’s idea of doing housework?

Jokes - jokes4all.net! — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:13:29 +0000

What is a man's idea of doing housework?

Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.